Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta has told Max Dowman “we are not in Disneyland” and that he intends to hold the teenager to the same standards as other first-team players.

Dowman, 16, was sent off in the 85th minute of Arsenal’s penalty shoot-out loss to Fleetwood Town in the Carabao Cup on Tuesday after reacting to a heavy challenge by Harrison Neal and will serve a three-match ban.

A visibly annoyed Arteta spoke to Dowman as the teenager left the pitch, and on Friday spoke about the incident for the first time, saying he warned the attacker before the game about dealing with provocation.

“I haven’t seen the reaction to my reaction, whether it is positive or negative. But you need to understand the context and the relationship that I have with him and what we discussed just before we went out,” Arteta said of his words to Dowman.

“But, I don’t know. You can have another reaction. If you see the reaction of my father and my mother with me some days you might say ‘I don’t like the reaction’. For me, it was the best reaction to be who I am.”

Arteta revealed that he had spoken to Dowman on Thursday and said there were “no issues at all” between the pair. However, he added that he needs to be “very straight” with Dowman and clear of the standards expected.

Dowman was sent off for the England U19s earlier this month where he was also on the end of heavy challenges in a match with the United States.

Of that red card, Arteta said: “They are his age. They are 16 – the same. What is the reaction? That is the level and that is the reaction.

“And whether it is right or wrong, that is the reaction.”

Arteta also spoke of the impact the red card had on the team, saying: “And the reaction when I don’t win, you want to know what my reaction is? I am [angry] big time.

“So, we need to be ready for that. This is the environment and this is the reality, otherwise we are in Disneyland. We are not in Disneyland, we are in the Premier League and this level.

“We look after him so much that you cannot imagine.

“But at the same time we are going to demand from him, like everybody else, because he needs to earn the right to play. Because the other boys, what are they going to tell me? You need to be fair.”

The Gunners did appeal against the red card but the Football Association (FA) upheld the decision. Of that, Arteta said he was “very disappointed”, adding “we are lucky today that he (Dowman) hasn’t had a broken foot.”